Fear. Fear is a word I have come to know very intimately since my son was diagnosed with cancer. Fear of the future, fear of the present, fear of death, fear of loss and the list goes on and on. One of my biggest fears was the fear of not being in control. I mean there was zero control over anything for the entire year that J went through chemo, stem cell transplant, radiation, surgeries, therapies, and too many MRI/CT scans to count. So I locked onto things that I could control. One of the things that I could control was where J was and who he was with. He was never alone in the hospital or at home. If my husband or I weren't with him, one or both of his sisters were.
So when See You at the Summit first reached out to me, I was shut down and ready to make any excuse possible to have J stay home, and I did. I basically told them thanks, but no thanks. Thankfully, after I hung up, I looked into See you at the Summit. I am so glad I did. It isn't some thrown together at the last minute, let's hope this works, sort of situation, There are doctors, nurses, therapists, experts in the field of cancer, etc., that all participate in this amazing program. It is so well planned out and organized. I wanted J to experience this. I wanted him to be around teens his own age, that had empathy for what he went through. Everyone has sympathy and pity when they find out your child has cancer. There aren't really many people that understand what it is like to go through chemo and radiation. That understand the devastating toll that cancer takes on someone mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and their family. But See You at the Summit allows these teens to be around people their own age who do understand. I thought, what an amazing thing for J to experience. I always told J, "You can do hard things," and I came to understand I needed to do a hard thing. I needed to let go of my fear of control and let him go be a "normal" teenager for a week.
So, I called See You at the Summit back. It wasn't long into the conversation that I totally broke down and started to cry. Heather listened as I told her J's story, she listened as I explained my fears, and she assured me that they were not irrational fears, she was kind and patient, and so understanding. She laid everything out step by step, reassuring me that J would be safe. She helped relieve my fears. Were they still there? YES! Did I cry on the way home from dropping him off? Yes! Was I scared that entire week? Yes! But J- J was safe. J was taken care of. J was healing mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually in a way that he could not do at home. J came home the closest to his "old" self as he had ever been. It was amazing!
See You at the Summit changes lives- not just the participants, but their families as well. It helps everyone heal. It shows them that it is OK to have fears, but not to let them control your life. I can't thank See You at the Summit enough for picking up my phone call, for listening to this crazy emotional Mom cry and put into words all of my fears. I hope that more teens get this experience. I hope that more Mom's get the opportunity to let go of some of their fears and heal and be inspired once again by what these amazing teens can do. They can truly do hard things, and parents? Well, we can too.