“I have the ability to help others who are struggling to find their way.” Lizzie Arnold
Before it all began... I was the average teen. I went to school, had cheerleading practice or a game, worked weekends and did my homework. No real thrills, but I knew that I was nearing the day that I could go on to the next chapter of my life. College Bound! Then, like a fast-moving train hitting me head on, I learned that I had ovarian cancer.
That train kept coming, each time it felt like it was running me over multiple times. I question inside and out "Why me." The next feeling was as if that very train scooped me up and wouldn't let me off. I became so sad inside... had no control over anything. I was rushed from one doctor to the next, then very long hospital stays… all the while, I hurt. Not just because of the surgeries or the Chemotherapy, but because my life as I knew it was over.
I appreciated the amazing care I was receiving from all the doctors, nurses, and family members... but I hurt inside.I wasn't who I thought I was, my future didn't look the same, my life was torn apart. Then my hair started to fall out. I thought to myself.… can it get any worse?
Yes.. It can get worse. Once all was starting to slow down, I learned yet another part of my life would be taken from me...my ability to go to school. Not that I didn't love spending time with my mom, but there is a big difference between getting to and having to. My friends' lives continued without me. My sister and brother's lives continued without me. I was stuck, sick, and hurting from the very thing that was to help me get better.
I was able to work on my studies, but being at home and feeling full of despair, the words, the action, the completion of it all did not come easy. My mom and dad pushed, and I am grateful for that, but inside I just wanted to curl up in a ball and wait for all of it to be over. I believe my fresh start came in two phases... the day I was able to ring the bell to say I was cancer free was phase1.
I knew not all of my future life moments were all mended that day, but at least the "right here, right now" moments would allow me to feel a little more normal.
Phase 2 came the day I was invited to a special hike from the See You At The Summit. That invitation changed me. I had faced several challenges; this was the first time I was asked to do something, the first time I was given an opportunity to speak about my healing. Again, please know I am so grateful for the care I received, but Heather Rose and See You At Summit helped me get off that train I spoke about earlier and helped me guide the healing and recovery myself.
“I was no longer in the passenger seat. I was given the opportunity to be the conductor.”
Since the hike and summiting Broken Top Mountain I have had many opportunities to show others that adversity is not always a bad thing.
The connections I have made with my fellow hikers showed me that, on a daily basis, there are many teens who struggle and I am able to stand up for them. After our journey into the wilderness I know, now more than ever, that without teamwork, compassion, empathy, persistence, and Grace my world is not a better place.
I am empowered to make life what I want it to be and be persistent when adversity (i.e. a mountain) tries to stand in front of me. I have the ability to make my future great ... and help others who are struggling to find their way.
“That was my turning point. As I hiked the last bit to the summit, I realized how light I had become. It was as if someone had lifted the box that had been sitting on my chest and taking up all that room where joy is supposed to be felt. From that day on I was okay. I was better than okay. I just let go of all my worries. I laughed and I smiled. It was a weird feeling to realize that I had not smiled, a true joyous smile, in a long time.”
